Kop of Coffee will be observing a moment of silence this week for the death of Her Majesty, the Queen of England.
This is not to be confused with the past weeks of silence due to the death of my spare time.
We hope to return to our normal cadence of either complete silence or tom foolery at some as yet undetermined time, which will probably not be communicated in advance, as I am sure you can understand the sensitivities of the nature of this sort of information.
While we here at Kop of Coffee did not personally know Queen Elizabeth II1, we do understand her to be the best English ruling monarch of our lifetimes. She served nobly with 14 presidents and 36 Chelsea managers. We are, of course, bereft with fear and mourning at how we will every carry on with our lives, but we commit to the resolve it requires to do so with the same stiff upper lip we’ve employed watching each and every Liverpool match this season.
This concludes our prepared remarks for this terribly difficult time.
Oh yeah. Except to note that her kicking of the guilded bucket ensures I will have at least 2 calendar weeks at the top of LFC Brooklyn’s Fantasy Standings.
So while you spend this weekend thinking about Queen Elizabeth II looking down upon you, remember that I - too - will be looking down on you from the top of the standings. Suck it, serfs.
-His Majesty of the Fantasy Standings, King Angus of Windsor Terrace
nor did we know Queen Elizabeth I.
Meanwhile, US stocks are soaring as the colonists sense the Queen's death may finally end their 250 year struggle to be free from British influence.
No mention of Liverpool's 4-1 thrashing, Colby!? It's entirely forgettable, I know.