Where I've Come From
Hello, my friends.
Did you know a baby's cry can be about 130 decibels?
Did you know some babies can cry for 3 straight days?1
Did you know that mental workload is significantly reduced when people are exposed to loud noises?
I know these things. Know them well. Not happy times around Castle Black the last few days.
Which is to say, that’s why you haven’t gotten a recap of the matches from the Premier League’s Match Week 7. This being Wednesday night, you’ve (hopefully scratched that itch by now.2)
As we find ourselves this week in the second International Break of the 2021-2022 season, I’ll finally kick out the explainer about England’s Football Pyramid.
But first, I’ll ask you to indulge me.
There was a period my life where I went on a lot of first dates3. This is less of a brag and more of a testament to my hard-headedness and boredom. Clearly this was before I owned an X-Box.
But I remember sitting on one of these dates and saying, “Where you’ve come from is important.”
“Spoken like someone from Texas,” was her reply. Perhaps, but, this is where I’ve come from as a footy fan.
You’re reading this because of Carlo Longino.
I don’t mean Carlo taught you to read, but if he did, let me know.
I mean all the peculiar bounces and coincidences and weird breaks that had to go just so to make me write this would have never happened if not for Carlo Longino.
Carlo started supporting Liverpool from a very young age. Like middle school in the late 80s. How someone in Cincinnati, Ohio managed to actually follow Liverpool back in those olden days is almost beyond my imagination. (Kids, this was pre-internet.) Also, it bears noting: Carlo somehow managed to find and woo one of the only two Liverpudlian gals at the University of Texas in the late 90s4.
In May of 2005, I was working the worst of all the terrible jobs I’ve ever had. I was in the middle of a divorce. I wasn’t exactly homeless. But my name didn’t exactly appear on any leases or mortgages. I had a room that was a converted garage in Austin, Texas. Not only was it un-airconditioned, but the washer and dryer for the house were in it. Which means the dryer actually heated up the room.
So, I was leaving my crummy job on a Wednesday afternoon, when Carlo invited me to swing by his place. This sounded incrementally better than the oven I called a home, so I went by.
Entirely unbeknownst to me, the biggest sporting event in the world had just taken place in Istanbul. You might know what happened there5. But on a back porch in Austin, I found Carlo (and his wife Alex) blissfully drunk on the game. Also blissfully drunk on a bottle of “Magic Whisky.” They had taken a Sharpie to a bottle of The Famous Grouse and written “Magic Whisky” on it.
When they spoke, they were tripping over each other as they gushed about the match. When they weren’t speaking, they were just smiling and giggling to themselves. The names and terms and Scouse dialect, I didn’t always understand, but the bliss? I got that.
I was HIGHLY skeptical of this soccer thing, but I figured anything making those two that happy had to be OK. So I became a very casual Liverpool fan. Meaning I checked the standings about three times a month, while noticing how many cool people around me were Liverpool supporters.6
In 2016, Carlo was in Brooklyn for work and had to cancel on me. “Just too tired, man. Sorry.” When he got back to Austin, it didn’t really go away. It was about a month later he was diagnosed with Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma. Four years ago today, I got the call that it hadn’t turned out well.
A whole lot of it hit me as not fair at all. “Fuck. This is bullshit,” was really coined around this time. I wasn’t really sure what to do or how to process it or … well, anything. On a lark, I Googled, “Brooklyn Liverpool bar,” and was shocked to learn it was two blocks from our apartment. I decided I would watch the rest of that Liverpool season there for Carlo because he didn’t get to. I stumbled into the Monro for the next match not knowing a damned soul, and as Robert Frost said, that has made all the difference.
I lost one of the best friends I’ve ever had, but I found what I genuinely consider my Brooklyn family. I don’t think it was a fair trade, but I do think it’s a silver lining. And I find it somewhat poetic that I never actually watched a Liverpool match with Carlo, and there’s so many match days I’ll look around the Monro and say, “He would be eating all of this up with a spoon.”
The Fenway Sports Group marketing machine has coined, “We are Liverpool. This means more.” Or maybe they just plucked it out of the air and it ends up being true more often than you’d think.
In the years since then, I can’t even begin to tell you what my footy fandom has done for me. It’s been a shared social currency with Dutch, English, French, Belgian, Brazilian and Argentine co-workers.
Of all the dumb things I’ve stumbled into in my life. it’s got to be the one that’s paid off the most.7
I’d love to hear where your footy fandom has come from.
Before you call Child Protective Services on me, our pediatrician determined today that our Little Warrior Princess has a dairy allergy. Things seem to be on the rebound. Finally.
If not, that Liverpool - Man City match was like Foreman - Ali. The Brentford Feel Good Tour continues. Arsenal came back down to Earth and Spurs actually won; they’re a London football yin and yang. And Norwich … They actually didn’t lose. First time in 21 Premier League matches. Holy shit.
It’s been said that I bought more meals in New York than the Salvation Army did.
The other Scouse gal was her sister.
In case you don’t, the 2005 Champions League Final was between AC Milan and Liverpool. Played at Ataturk Stadium in Istanbul, it’s widely considered the best Champions League Final ever.
Milan was heavily favored and scored a goal within the first minute of the match. They added two more to go into halftime up 3-0.
Liverpool came out with a fire in their bellies, and a change in formation. Goals in the 54th, 56th and 60th minutes sent the match into extra time.
Nobody budged, which sent the match to Penalty Kicks. Milan missed the goal entirely on the first kick and Liverpool goalie Jerzy Dudek saved the second. Liverpool went on to win 3-2 on PKs.
If you’ve got 12 minutes, here’s a good place to spend them.
Another formative moment in my footy fandom came in the opening match of the 2006 World Cup. Trinidad and Tobago were playing Sweden, and I was sitting on a barstool next to a Trinidadian friend. The match kicked off, and his phone started ringing. I’m pretty sure the entire island called my friend that day. You could just hear people screaming, “can you believe this? We’re tied 0-0 with Sweden!”
That whole thing happened over and over for two hours.
That even got through my thick skull that the rest of the world might be onto something with this whole soccer thing.
The jury is still out on fatherhood.
I became a Liverpool at close to the same time as you, during the 2006-2007 season. I'd gotten into the World Cup in 1994 and 1998, as a teen, and a lot more in 1999, when the USWNT was such a sensation. I went and saw them play at Soldier Field, which was the first time I'd ever been to a soccer game. I tried to get into MLS after the 2002 WC, but it didn't take at all, I think because despite not knowing much about who all the best players in the world were, I knew they weren't playing in MLS. I watched a ton of the 2006 WC, was much more hooked on the game at that point, and some Premier League games had begun to be televised here, so I started watching whoever happened to be playing.
I also sometimes watching highlight reels on YouTube, which was still pretty new then. One night I was watching a countdown of top goals, and there were a couple from distance by Steven Gerrard. I already knew of him because he'd scored a couple World Cup goals and I'd watched a couple Liverpool games by then too, but his clips in that highlight reel jumped out at me, and I began to seek out Liverpool games and think of him as my favorite player.
Over the next five years or so, I got more and more into soccer, while also having my interest in basketball and football drift. Baseball had always been my favorite, and by 2012 soccer had supplanted the other sports I'd spent 25 years or so following as my second favorite.
So I started using Leicester City because of their logo *hint* it's my son's name and then doubled down and made it legit after subscribing to your blog.
I'll also add that finding out your kid has a dairy allergy is a journey. We gave my son yogurt when he was around 6 months and an hour later he was riding in an ambulance. He looked like he went 12 rounds with Tyson. It sucked but supposedly they can grow out of it.