Hello, my friends.
We (and by we, I mean my household) dodged a real giant bullet this week when NBC and YouTubeTV agreed to a temporary deal to keep their channels on my television.
For the last two days, the only way my kid will stop crying is if I am holding her. Which makes doing anything else impossible. And my sister in law just got here from DC. So this is going to be BRIEF.
Also, you’re going to be paying more attention to the last weekend of baseball season than footy this weekend anyway.
So, I bring you, me yelling the matchups at my wife and saying, “make up one sentence about each of these matches.”
Saturday. 2 October
7:30
Manchester United - Everton
Bronaldo™ versus Ronaldo. Also, Everton will be there.
10:00
Burnley - Norwich City
Watch it to see if you’re better than both teams by yourself.
Chelsea - Southampton
Once again, for COD, if the Saints I’m buying a Southampton shirt.
Leeds United - Watford
I heard an interesting stat about Leeds this week. And then I had to change a diaper and totally forgot it.
Wolves - Newcastle
[Speechless, but rooting for Adama Traoré.]
12:30
Brighton & Hove Albion - Arsenal
Once again, with a win and a little luck, Brighton could end the weekend in first place.
Sunday 3 October
9:00
Crystal Palace - Leicester City
How many teams will Vardy lead in scoring in this match?
Tottenham Spur - Aston Villa
If Spurs keep sucking this badly, Extreme guitarist Nuno Betencourt is going to change his name so no one mistakes him for Spurs’ manager Nuno Espírito Santo.
West Ham United - Brentford
There are more Google image search results for “hammers and bees” than I would have imagined.
11:30
Liverpool - Manchester City
This won’t go well.
We’ve got another International Break coming up after this match week. Back at it October 16.
Take care of yourself, and, each other.
-Colby
RE: Newcastle, does [various screeching noises] count as speechless? If so, I agree with your description.
Love these, really enjoying your takes and sense of humor. Also helps that we both are unapologetically biased towards all things Liverpool. To deal with my Liverpool-Man City anxiety, I'm going golfing and will only watch if the score dictates that I watch.