Week 6

Report card time

Sep 27, 2024

Hello, my friends.

In case you’re wondering how my week went, my sister texted me that her husband wasbeing wheeled in for hip replacement replacement surgery (not a typo) AS my wife texted me that she was coming home because she was sick and had just blown her nose in a spare sock on the subway.

But hey, the direct hit hurricane didn’t take out all of my inlaws.

We also got to go to my kid’s class this morning to help her decorate her journal. Before going in, one of the other dads in her class, who we know, who also happens to also be from Texas, says to us, “Have you seen the book in their classroom talking about how white people are evil?”

It’s weird having to turn on my “this fool watches too much Newsmax” filter while my feet are firmly planted in Brooklyn. Like I could almost make out my copy of Howard Zinn’s “A People’s History of the United States” from where I was standing.

Shit’s weird man. With no signs of letting up.

AI unable to keep up.

Tomorrow morning finds me getting a custom pair of kicks made as I’m part of *checks notes* Liverpool’s NYC Starting XI (while having never actually kicked a soccer ball in any sort of competition.) While my kid starts *checks notes* something called tap ballet dance lessons. 😳 Then, post match, I get to meet AND greet LFC Legend Martin Skrtel. All while maybe running into the voice of Love Island.

Did I … did I have a fucking stroke? Do I smell toast?

Man U to win the league in 2028

This annoucement does nothing to make the think I haven’t lost it.

Saturday

7:30

Newcastle - Man City (USA, Universo) Two teams concetrating more on a court case this week than match prep?

10:00

Arsenal - Leicester (Peacock) Speaking a team that skirts the law with shenanigans. And also Arsenal.

Brentford - West Ham (USA, Universo) Oh look. A London Derby.

Chelsea - Brighton (Peacock) Will the real Chelsea XI please show up? Any of their XI.

Everton - Crystal Palace (Peacock) Can’t wait for Everton to have the nicest stadium in the Championship next year.

Forest - Fuham (Peacock) I mean sure. They have to play each other. Twice.

12:30

Wolves - Liverpool (USA, Universo) Take a big swig of absinthe before this and try to simulate my day of seeing crazy shit.

Sunday

9:00

Ipswich - Aston Villa (Telemundo, USA) Ed Sheeran versus Black Sabbath.

11:30

Man U - Spurs (Telemundo, USA) One team thinks they can and will win the league in 2028. One team thinks they’re winning it this year becuse it’s Big Ange’s second year. Complete delusion. Party of 2.