It’s been really (extra) grueling lately. Even when you throw money at something to make it easier.
It’s Winter Break here in NYC. Schools are closed. Also, Saturday through late Tuesday, the wife was on a trip with her sister. My first inclination was for me to just gut it out and take care of the kid for the entirety of those nine. Straight. Days.
Last Saturday, me and her hung with three of her girlfriends and 5 of their parents. It was awesome seeing them all play with each other and light up with each other and interact with each other instead of just playing near each other like small toddlers do.
Day 1 was down.
The next day, the weather was crummy. Single digit Reel Feel temps. Gusty wind. I fought just handing all childcare duties over to the Screen Time Fairy. It was rough.
Day 2 had me on the ropes.
I realized what was best for me wasn’t what was best for the kid, in this sitch. Having not had a job in 4 months, I thought I could finally contribute to the financial health of the house by not spending money. Instead, I was robbing the kid of fun with her friends. We signed her up for 9 AM to 3 PM Dance Day Camp.
It has made all the difference.
Though, I misread the texts from my wife. I thought it said all I needed to send her with was a snack and a water bottle. I dropped her off Monday morning. Strolled back home. Spotter her water bottle on the counter. Oops. Suboptimal but not too bad.
That night, as we’re going to bed, the kid says, “my teachers said you forgot to pack a lunch so I had to eat my snacks for lunch and the teachers asked the other kids to share with me.”
Oh. No.
It was bad enough she walked into Park Slope Performing Arts with Dad Hair. Now she’s asking Gubnas for, “just a l’il bit more.”
Tuesday, I sent her in with a full Sunday Roast. Just to show we don’t need charity in my unemployment as the world’s economy teeters on the edge of breakdown. I figured someone would be allergic to something as I shoved her and the lunchbox into the doorway.
Monday - No food
Tuesday - Cause an allergic reaction
Wednesday - Follow that up with puffer fish with a side of broken glass in a kerosene reduction?
So far, per the ushe, her lunches have come back almost as full as they left … just like every regular school day. I am totally unsure how that kid is getting any nutrients but still somehow outgrowing everything. Circle of life type shit over here.
OK, I’ve got an hour. Let’s talk some footy. Now’s as good a time as any to act like things are stable and settled, so let’s do a reset of the major competitions with Premier League teams in them. Starting with the easiest one.
Carabao Cup
The Final
Liverpool - Newcastle
Sunday, March 16, 12:30 PM
We’re down to one match left in this Cup competition. Easy Peasy to wrap your head around this one.
FA Cup
The Fifth Round starts next weekend. Sixteen teams are left. Winner of each match advances. (No two legged ties.)
Friday, February 28
3:00 PM
Aston Villa - Cardiff City
Saturday, March 1
7:15 AM
Crystal Palace - Milwall
Preston - Burnley
10:00 AM
Bournemouth - Wolves
Man City - Plymouth Argyle
Newcastle - Brighton
Man U - Fulham
Nottingham Forest - Ipswich Town
Quarter Finals take place Saturday, March 29.
Semi Finals take place Saturday, April 26.
The Final is Saturday, May 17. And none of it matters a fucking bit because Liverpool are eliminated.
The Premier League
Top of the table looks about like so:
Let’s say Arsenal beat West Ham Saturday to even the number of matches played with Liverpool. At that moment, that would leave both teams with 12 matches remaining and Liverpool with a 5 point lead. So Arsenal would have to overcome a 5 point deficit with 36 points left to play for.
The math is improbable. It feels like an even longer shot based on the way City have closed teams out down the stretch the last few years. But the Gunners have a chance. A real chance. And that chance can look at lot less chancy if City can get some points off of Liverpool Sunday morning. (11:30 kick off on Peacock.)
Down the stretch, against the top 6, Arsenal have matches against Liverpool (at Anfield, May 10) and at Forest (February 26) and Bournemouth (May 3) and Chelsea (March 16).
Similarly, having already taken on Bournemouth and Forest twice, Liverpool have Top 6 matches against Arsenal (Still May 10), Man City, (February 23) and Chelsea (May 3). It could come down to that. But with Liverpool’s recent wobbling, who the hell knows? Draws against teams from the middle of the table can doom Liverpool enough.
Champions League
The draws were held this morning at 0600 hours. I somehow watched it and slept through the whole damned thing at the same time.
I just spent 10 precious minutes of my 60 looking for a good bracket. This is what you’re getting instead.
Here’s one half of the bracket:
Here’s the other damned half:
They’re all 2 legged ties until the final. Those last two teams standing meet in the Champions League final on May 31 in Munich. And yes, (every German place) + (a date in spring) always makes me think about this.
Your guess is literally as good as anyone’s with this field at this point. I’d like to say Liverpool can cake walk it in. I would never say that Liverpool can cake walk it in. I especially can’t with Arsenal, Villa and Real Madrid on that half of the bracket.
I think I’d rather play PSG than Benfica, so I have to be happy with that draw. I think I’d rather have Villa than Inter, so I have to be happy with that draw. But again, who the hell knows?
OK, I gotta run get this kid and her lunchbox. Take care of yourself and each other.
-Colby
"I think I'd rather play PSG than Benfica"😭