Week 0
Once more unto the breach
Stardate -299621.92
A funny thing happened when I stopped writing over here so much: A lot of things happened that I should have been writing about.
Here’s AI’s interpretation of that:
Another funny thing has happened. I’ve realized I need to crank these out to be a good fan of footy. If left to my own devices (and I have been) I laze about and see that, “oh … Liverpool plays at 10 on Saturday. Guess I’ll pop into the pub about 9:30 then.” And that doesn't do anyone a damned bit of good.
I also start asking my wife questions like, “Who’s playing in the next game?” No one needs that.
So, first things first, here’s the matches:
Premier League - Week 1
Friday, August 16
3PM
Man U v Fulham (USA, Universo)
Man U just won this 1-0 with an 88th minute Ten Hag Jobsaver Deluxe™
Saturday, August 17
7:30 AM
Ipswich v Liverpool (USA, Universo)
10:00 AM
Arsenal v Wolves (Usa, Universo)
Everton v Brighton (Peacock)
Newcastle v Southampton (Peacock)
Nott’m Forest v Bournemouth (Peacock)
12:30 PM
West Ham v Aston Villa (NBC, Universo)
Sunday, August 18
9:00 AM
Brentford v Crystal Palace (Telemundo, USA)
11:30 AM
Chelsea - Man City (NBC, Telemundo)
Monday, August 19
3:00 PM
Leicester v Spurs (USA, Universo)
(Yeah, that’s entirely so I have the muscle memory of looking at these. Again, I am doing this all for my benefit.
Also, for my benefit:
Rules changes for 2024-2025
We’re changing VAR, handballs and automating offside (at some point.)
Smart thinking about this season
Ryan O’Hanlon of ESPN, No Grass in the Clouds and writer of Net Gains cranked this out highlighting his highlights. Highlights of his include:
The 50 best players in the PL, ranked (1. Rodri. 2. Haaland)
Why Man City won’t win their 5th straight league title this year (uhhhh. ok)
Where all 20 teams will finish this year (City and Arsenal tie at the top of their predictions)
The Athletic wrote this about what the next evolutions in the Prem might look like.\
As soon as I get those all read, I’ll get back to you.
Speaking of getting something read, here’s a little running feature titled …
Oldest open tab in my browser
Ok, it turns out I have actually read this one, so I broke my joke.
Highlights include:
Rosa Parks was not sitting in the front ("white") section of the bus during the event that made her famous and incited the Montgomery bus boycott. Rather, she was sitting in the front of the back ("colored") section of the bus, where African Americans were expected to sit, and rejected an order from the driver to vacate her seat in favor of a white passenger when the "white" section of the bus had become full.
The Pyramids of Egypt were not constructed with slave labor. Archaeological evidence shows that the laborers were a combination of skilled workers and poor farmers working in the off-season with the participants paid in high-quality food and tax exemptions.[261][262] The idea that slaves were used originated with Herodotus, and the idea that they were Israelites arose centuries after the pyramids were constructed.
The 1930 painting American Gothic depicts a father and adult daughter, not a husband and wife.
Seeds are not the spiciest part of chili peppers. In fact, seeds contain a low amount of capsaicin, one of several compounds which induce the hot sensation (pungency) in mammals. The highest concentration of capsaicin is located in the placental tissue (the pith) to which the seeds are attached.
The United States does not require police officers to identify themselves as police in the case of a sting or other undercover work, and police officers may lie when engaged in such work.[140] Claiming entrapment as a defense instead focuses on whether the defendant was improperly induced by undue pressure from government officials to commit crimes they would not have otherwise committed.
And now, the kid
One of the biggest “need to rethink things” moments in my relationship with my wife came a couple of weeks after we got married. That first Chris Pratt Jurassic World movie came out. We went to see it, and before it starts, I tell my wife, “I don’t really like dinosaurs.”
I just never got into them. They seemed like dumb things to invest emotion into. You know they’re going to lose. I was also just a little too old when the very first Jurassic Park came out.
My wife, however … turns out is very into dinosaurs. So this admission before seeing the 4th of 6 movies in the Jurassic Park trilogy was a big lurch for her.
She got over it and stopped seeing all the Chris Pratt Jurassic Park movies cause … well … they’re awful. For our 6th wedding anniversary, I even got her a wooden dinosaur.
We flash forward …
(weird move, AI, but whaever)
There’s a kid that lives in our building named JJ. He’s 4 months younger than our daughter. They’ve hung out a lot and go to the same daycare.
They’ve been out of town for a few weeks, but his mom texted us to say that JJ woke up from his nap and said he had dreamed about our daughter.
That’s cute.
But it got me thinking, our kid has never said anything about having dreams. So I asked her, “did you have a dream last night?” and she said, “I dreamed there was a fly in my bedroom.”
Ok, fine.
We flash to 3:45 Wednesday morning. Kid is screaming oddly. It turns out she has had a dream dinosaurs are chasing her. I end up “sleeping” wadded up in her chair in her room while she spends about 90 minutes coming up with all the reasons she can’t go back to sleep and all the things she needs to go back to sleep.
We are 2 to 1 against dinosaurs in this house, and that “win” will teach me to keep my big mouth shut asking if my daughter has dreams.
Closing thoughts
Look, I’m super excited about this season. Klopp's departure seems to have taken all he stakes off the table for Liverpool this year. And I welcome it. Or maybe life is just generally getting easier with the kid now. Or who fucking knows?
More next week?
Take care of yourself, and someone else.
Welcome back, Colby. COYS and boo Liverpool.
I rather enjoyed all the Southampton victories last year. Looking forward to enjoying them again next year too. Sigh....